Who am I?
Well, I didn't ask for the life I have.
No; I was called.
When I was a young teenager, I was told that I was the Chosen One, the sole defender of humans from the nether species on earth. Soon after, I burned down my high school's gym while trying to slay a bunch of evil guys with bumpy foreheads. I got expelled. My mother moved us to a nice Californian town called Sunnydale, so we could have a new start. It was at Sunnydale High that I met my two best friends. Us three, along with our other friends, formed what we sometimes called the 'Scooby Gang,' a cooperative group dedicated to managing the continual world threat of apocalypse(s). I spent my time awake at nights patrolling the cemetaries and such, on the look-out for bad guys to slay. When I spotted a bad guy, I would take a pointy stick and cram it into the villain's heart, at which point they would react by bursting into ashes. In the process of saving the world and coping with life in general, I died twice and suffered many injuries, but being the Chosen One makes me pretty bounce-backish, so it was all ok. I also met my soulmate that first year in Sunnydale. He wasn't in high school; he was too old for it. Our relationship was doomed from the start, and set the precedent for the ruinous relationships I've been in ever since.
But I had another big problem to deal with, which definitely put a stop to intimate relationships altogether. I discovered that I was a mutant with "X" powers. When I touched people, I took their life essence away from them. When I confronted other people like me, I could take their own "X" gifts and make them my own, temporarily. To top it off, my adopted mother was a homicidal maniac who wore skulls around her waist all the time. I myself sported an awesome white shock of hair at the front to contrast with the rest of my red hair, and to top it off, spoke a Southern drawl like you've never heard. I discarded my own name and took on the title of "Rogue," joining my mother for a time in the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, which was lead by the super-villain Magneto. It was during this stint as an evil villainess that I found myself one day battling Carol Danvers, better known as "Ms. Marvel." Some fluke happened, and I acquired all of Carol's powers permanently. She's hated me ever since, and I've actually had some troubles with her psyche insinuating itself on me. At some point I realized that what I was doing was wrong, and so I went looking for help. I was redeemed by a man we fondly called Professor X, who was formerly my enemy. He had made it his life's work to stop Magneto from doing evil, and promote positive mutant/human relations. I joined him in his cause and dedicated myself to good works, striving to redeem myself in penance for my former evil doings.
In the process of these good works I joined the Rebel Alliance. The top priority of my new faction was stopping the Empire and the evil Emperor who ran it. I took to wearing my long, long hair up in huge buns on either side of my head. The Alliance sent me on a critical mission to obtain the secret architectural plans to the Empire's new ship of ruinous proportions called the Death Star. Our plan was to find its weakness and exploit it, hopefully saving billions of lives in the process. On my mission, I was captured by the terrible Darth Vader and sent to prison, but not before I sent the plans inside an R-2 unit to Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi Knight I knew I could use to get the information back to the heads of the Alliance. Just before I was to be executed, I was rescued by members of the Alliance in the form of Obi-Wan, two other men, two droids and a wookiee. Destiny played its part in this, because one of the men turned out to be my long-lost brother whom I never knew I had. The other man fell in love with me, and I with him, and we eventually got married. I also discovered that Darth Vader was my biological father, and this gave me a whole new outlook on how messed up life truly is. But hey, that's the way it is when you're the princess of a planet that's been completely eradicated and you try to fight the good fight.
What, you don't believe me? Aw, there are too many skeptics out there. Who says a girl can't fluff up the truth a bit to look nice and pretty? All right, all right; here's a slightly more accurate description of me , as long as we're going for honest.